Are we getting older or is everyone else getting younger?

Just an FYI...I started writing this about a week ago and never got to finishing it..so it has a little of this and a little of that in it.

Well I got a good dose of reality thrown in my face recently. My 10 year reunion is coming and its coming very soon. Of course, I'm not stupid. I know how old I am, I just didnt really realize it until I saw the title of the group on Facebook. "...Class of 2000....10 year reunion." At that moment it made me think, what have I done for the past 10 years? I mean, I've done a lot of things..but have I really done anything? Now my biggest accomplishment is of course, Gage. Like many mothers, my little man is the best thing I could have ever helped create...because, well, he's awesome. Its making me think, what the hell have I really done. I've been to a few colleges, worked a fair amount of jobs, finally moved out of the house, bought a car, wrecked a car....its almost depressing when you try to think of it. I feel like I should be a doctor, a published artist, a famous something..I know that the majority of my graduating class is most likely not a famous anything..so I would be in the majority with them, but still.

I suppose it it inevitable, we all get older. We all have to grow up sometime, even though I know many people that have yet to do so. I sometimes think about high school and I wouldnt go back but there are parts I do certainly miss. I miss cheerleading the most. It was nice to have a sense of "duty"(back then at least), we were there to get the crowd excited and have a fun time. I of course miss the constant company, I was always around people and friends. I dont have that now and its sad to think about that. I never go anywhere or do anything, yes, a lot of that is because of scheduling but its still depressing. I miss having sleepovers, going to the movies with friends, not having bills and feeling more carefree. I think maybe being home so much is just starting to wear me down. I need to get Gage's schedule set to where we can go and do things more often. I think mainly I need energy, I wish I could be one of those people that have energy to do things. I just dont, I dont have the energy or the drive to do some things. When its for Gage, I am all about it. When its for me, not so much. I said something recently in a comment to a blog that I think is very true. I use 99% of my energy on Gage every single day. I think that the 1% that is left over for me I just have no idea how to use it so it ends up being wasted. I wish I could be that mom that has it all together and organized. I would love to get up in the morning, shower, get Gage ready, do his therapies and then go do stuff. It just doesnt happen often and I know I can only blame myself but it sucks. My goal for this summer is to give myself a kick in the butt and get out more. Maybe join a play group or something. I know we are going to Sesame Place, not sure when..but it will happen. Plus we are bringing Gage to the Please Touch Museum..I've heard a little about it and it sounds wonderful.

A little update on Gage...

He is doing wonderfully with bath time now. He seems to really enjoy it. Brushing his teeth is another battle. He was doing so well with it and now he freaks out when I go near him with a tooth brush. I feel horrible but I dont want him to have bad teeth. Its a curse in my family, no matter how much we brush, our teeth are cursed. Gage's poor little teeth are already not the whitest on the top because of how hard it is to brush them.

Gage is also taken a liking to biting his lips. It is driving me NUTS! He just chews and chews until he has a sore on the inside of his mouth. Between that and constantly biting his fingernails I am constantly checking him. He chewed so much before that his nails and lip have bled.

The biggest thing is that Gage is FINALLY not only trying, but eating some new foods!!!!! Last Thursday we went to Disa's house to play/have lunch. She was having hot dogs and mac & cheese. So I figured if all else fails, Gage had the hot dogs to eat. So we got there and Gage made himself right at home....going straight in to the bedrooms for toys. Fricken kid, lol. Well, while Disa was making the other kid's dishes, I got Gage's together. I figured I would put a little of everything on the tray, hoping that if he saw the big kids eating it he would too. I was quite surprised, because I figured Gage would attack the hot dog and I would have to toss the rest. He actually ate the mac & cheese! I wont lie, I got a little teary eyed...There at the table was my big boy eating a new food with a fork, right along with the other kids. I know to some people that might not seem like a big thing, but it was for me and Gage. I would never want to change Gage, but it was nice to see what could be. He was there at a table with "typical" kids and was blending right in, eating right along with them. It made me think that preschool is the right move and that Gage will do fine. I was just afraid that he would be picked on or stick out and feel bad. I know the preschool he will be going to more than likely wont be like that. He will be in a class room with kids more on his level, but still...I just had visions of him sitting there, not eating and being pushed around. He is such a gentle, sweet kid that other kids tend to take over. He doesnt really care it seems, but I certainly do. He just lets them do what they want..of course these are NT kids, so that could be the issue too. Anyway...I decided to see if the mac & cheese was a one time thing, so the next day for lunch..it was hot dogs and mac & cheese for lunch. I bought easy mac because I figured it was easier (hence the name) and there was a smaller portion. I didnt need a box just for Gage. Well...he ate it again!!! He didnt even bother with the hot dog. I got it on video, of course. I will load that another time though..I cant seem to find where Gage hid the flip camera.

One other thing..

Happy Belated Mother's Day to all the mommies! Hope you day was good. Mine was pretty uneventful...although I did get some good stuff. I got a new light kit..yay!..and a lens baby! So if anyone is looking for a light kit, I have my old one for sale! I also started to play around with some pictures again. Its been far too long since I have done anything. So I took some older pics and some new ones and played around on Photoshop the other night. I didnt change anything so it will look good on the web, but you'll get the general idea of the pics. I am thinking when Gage goes to school I will finally start to advertise instead of just word of mouth. Now of course, if anyone wants anything done in the mean time... :)


Mr. Oshkosh and Rocket


He only liked the swings long enough for me to take this pic


Yum! Ice cream! Can you believe those eyelashes?


OLD pic..but I love his sweet face


Check out those eyes..


Another old one..


Came out dark on here..but he's pondering something..


My favorite..this came out a bit darker on here too..


So there you have it..I got bored and stayed up until 4 am doing pictures. I did A LOT more but they wernt all of Gage, so I decided not to post them here. I suppose it is time to finally stop this now though. I'm such a bad blogger...I dont post then when I do BAM! I post a long one. Well, I will keep more up to date..I swear....ish. :)