Thursday, May 28, 2009

I've neglected this blog for too long...

It's true, I have neglected writing for awhile..I have just had no inspiration to write anything or energy for that matter. I suppose I should do a little update on Gage. That is always easy to do.

Gage is doing well. He is obsessed with puzzles lately. Well, puzzles and his Brown Bear book. I have been working with him on animal sounds, he currently will say "arf arf, heh heh heh"(the barking and panting of a dog, lol), guack, guack(while making his hand into a duck's bill), "ppppppp"(which is is horse..think of the sound after the horse whinny's) and the last one is a cat..but I have no idea how to write that sound. He doesn't meow, he makes a slurp sound for the cat drinking milk. I was pretty impressed with how well he has been doing with them and made his own versions of the sounds the animal actually makes.

He is also doing quite well (well..some days not so well..) on using more than one sign at a time. Right now he can do 4..for example he can sign "Want more drink please" or "Want eat again please". Please is his strongest sign for sure. He uses it all the time! We are working on teaching him Rocket(because he brings one everywhere) and help. His therapy is going well, but we are going to switch to ABA therapy for something new. On certain areas Gage has plateaued and is regressing on some things. It seems he will regress lets say, with using the sign for "more", but only for a little while and then it comes back again. Some times I think it is just him being a stubborn 2 year old. I say this because we will ask him if he wants more, he says "Yeah!" and I tell him "Show me" and Gage will look at me and just say "No". So the fact that he is saying no, he doesn't want to sign makes me think its not always that he can't do it.

I got Gage a swing set today, its not the one I wanted which was about $900, this one was more affordable at $200. I still want the other one, but I couldn't justify spending that much money on a swing set me might outgrow. So we went with one that has a trampoline attached and has the longest slide on it. That is the only thing he really likes anyway, so the rest of it isn't that important. I'm hoping for a nice day so we can get it put together for him. Hopefully before Gage's girlfriend comes to visit. I also got him a water table, he has already gone nuts for it and there is no water in it! I will admit, I put a little in it and let him play..in the dining room. He of course got water all over so I dumped it. He was less than happy with me. So outside should be fun for Gage this summer. He will have the swing set, water table, sand box, his bounce house and I am going to get him a wagon for walks soon.

I started reading a book recently, "Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew" it has really made me think about how I do things with Gage. I am only about half way through it, thanks to lack to quiet time to read, lol, but I would recommend it to parents, relatives and pretty much anyone with constant contact with a child on the spectrum. Its really made me think about why Gage does this, how I should/shouldn't react, my lack of truly understanding how it is for him with things..plus a lot more. It makes me think, ok when Gage is knocking down the blinds because he is standing on his head..he isn't trying to knock them down..he is seeking pressure on his head/trying to fulfill that sensory need. I don't know, its just an interesting book.

Well I am going to take it as a hint that I should finish this..since I am zoning out, staring at the screen. Until next time...hehe

Monday, May 11, 2009

Are we getting older or is everyone else getting younger?

Just an FYI...I started writing this about a week ago and never got to finishing it..so it has a little of this and a little of that in it.

Well I got a good dose of reality thrown in my face recently. My 10 year reunion is coming and its coming very soon. Of course, I'm not stupid. I know how old I am, I just didnt really realize it until I saw the title of the group on Facebook. "...Class of 2000....10 year reunion." At that moment it made me think, what have I done for the past 10 years? I mean, I've done a lot of things..but have I really done anything? Now my biggest accomplishment is of course, Gage. Like many mothers, my little man is the best thing I could have ever helped create...because, well, he's awesome. Its making me think, what the hell have I really done. I've been to a few colleges, worked a fair amount of jobs, finally moved out of the house, bought a car, wrecked a car....its almost depressing when you try to think of it. I feel like I should be a doctor, a published artist, a famous something..I know that the majority of my graduating class is most likely not a famous anything..so I would be in the majority with them, but still.

I suppose it it inevitable, we all get older. We all have to grow up sometime, even though I know many people that have yet to do so. I sometimes think about high school and I wouldnt go back but there are parts I do certainly miss. I miss cheerleading the most. It was nice to have a sense of "duty"(back then at least), we were there to get the crowd excited and have a fun time. I of course miss the constant company, I was always around people and friends. I dont have that now and its sad to think about that. I never go anywhere or do anything, yes, a lot of that is because of scheduling but its still depressing. I miss having sleepovers, going to the movies with friends, not having bills and feeling more carefree. I think maybe being home so much is just starting to wear me down. I need to get Gage's schedule set to where we can go and do things more often. I think mainly I need energy, I wish I could be one of those people that have energy to do things. I just dont, I dont have the energy or the drive to do some things. When its for Gage, I am all about it. When its for me, not so much. I said something recently in a comment to a blog that I think is very true. I use 99% of my energy on Gage every single day. I think that the 1% that is left over for me I just have no idea how to use it so it ends up being wasted. I wish I could be that mom that has it all together and organized. I would love to get up in the morning, shower, get Gage ready, do his therapies and then go do stuff. It just doesnt happen often and I know I can only blame myself but it sucks. My goal for this summer is to give myself a kick in the butt and get out more. Maybe join a play group or something. I know we are going to Sesame Place, not sure when..but it will happen. Plus we are bringing Gage to the Please Touch Museum..I've heard a little about it and it sounds wonderful.

A little update on Gage...

He is doing wonderfully with bath time now. He seems to really enjoy it. Brushing his teeth is another battle. He was doing so well with it and now he freaks out when I go near him with a tooth brush. I feel horrible but I dont want him to have bad teeth. Its a curse in my family, no matter how much we brush, our teeth are cursed. Gage's poor little teeth are already not the whitest on the top because of how hard it is to brush them.

Gage is also taken a liking to biting his lips. It is driving me NUTS! He just chews and chews until he has a sore on the inside of his mouth. Between that and constantly biting his fingernails I am constantly checking him. He chewed so much before that his nails and lip have bled.

The biggest thing is that Gage is FINALLY not only trying, but eating some new foods!!!!! Last Thursday we went to Disa's house to play/have lunch. She was having hot dogs and mac & cheese. So I figured if all else fails, Gage had the hot dogs to eat. So we got there and Gage made himself right at home....going straight in to the bedrooms for toys. Fricken kid, lol. Well, while Disa was making the other kid's dishes, I got Gage's together. I figured I would put a little of everything on the tray, hoping that if he saw the big kids eating it he would too. I was quite surprised, because I figured Gage would attack the hot dog and I would have to toss the rest. He actually ate the mac & cheese! I wont lie, I got a little teary eyed...There at the table was my big boy eating a new food with a fork, right along with the other kids. I know to some people that might not seem like a big thing, but it was for me and Gage. I would never want to change Gage, but it was nice to see what could be. He was there at a table with "typical" kids and was blending right in, eating right along with them. It made me think that preschool is the right move and that Gage will do fine. I was just afraid that he would be picked on or stick out and feel bad. I know the preschool he will be going to more than likely wont be like that. He will be in a class room with kids more on his level, but still...I just had visions of him sitting there, not eating and being pushed around. He is such a gentle, sweet kid that other kids tend to take over. He doesnt really care it seems, but I certainly do. He just lets them do what they want..of course these are NT kids, so that could be the issue too. Anyway...I decided to see if the mac & cheese was a one time thing, so the next day for lunch..it was hot dogs and mac & cheese for lunch. I bought easy mac because I figured it was easier (hence the name) and there was a smaller portion. I didnt need a box just for Gage. Well...he ate it again!!! He didnt even bother with the hot dog. I got it on video, of course. I will load that another time though..I cant seem to find where Gage hid the flip camera.

One other thing..

Happy Belated Mother's Day to all the mommies! Hope you day was good. Mine was pretty uneventful...although I did get some good stuff. I got a new light kit..yay!..and a lens baby! So if anyone is looking for a light kit, I have my old one for sale! I also started to play around with some pictures again. Its been far too long since I have done anything. So I took some older pics and some new ones and played around on Photoshop the other night. I didnt change anything so it will look good on the web, but you'll get the general idea of the pics. I am thinking when Gage goes to school I will finally start to advertise instead of just word of mouth. Now of course, if anyone wants anything done in the mean time... :)


Mr. Oshkosh and Rocket


He only liked the swings long enough for me to take this pic


Yum! Ice cream! Can you believe those eyelashes?


OLD pic..but I love his sweet face


Check out those eyes..


Another old one..


Came out dark on here..but he's pondering something..


My favorite..this came out a bit darker on here too..


So there you have it..I got bored and stayed up until 4 am doing pictures. I did A LOT more but they wernt all of Gage, so I decided not to post them here. I suppose it is time to finally stop this now though. I'm such a bad blogger...I dont post then when I do BAM! I post a long one. Well, I will keep more up to date..I swear....ish. :)

Monday, May 4, 2009

If I go on MTV can I get people to believe me too??

Alright, this might be short but then again it might be long..so be prepared.

I am sick to death of hearing about people "curing" autism. Specifically a certain blonde playmate that used to pick her nose on MTV for a living. I know I have talked about this before, but it just really gets me heated. I am no way telling people how to raise their children or what is right or wrong. Each parent does what they feel best and I get that...but why put someone so innocent through the ringer for your own need for a "normal" child? I dont mean the parents that just change the kids diet or add vitamins. I mean the ones that spend a ridiculous amount of money on treatments that I wouldnt even wish on someone I dislike, let alone someone I love!

I really think that she is spreading the wrong message and too many misinformed people are on the bandwagon. They see that tiny thread of "hope" and cling to it for all its worth. When I would bet money that whatsherface's (I'm even sick of her name) son isnt really even "cured". Sure, maybe he improved...but that isnt cured people! Hell, Gage has made improvement but I'm smart enough to know he's not at the level of a typical 3 year old and he certainly isnt cured/healed/whatever. I really am thinking that this poor child is being used. Maybe at first it was a mother excited about progress and wanting to share, then I think it became about fame and money. Think about it, before her whole "I am Mrs. Autism"(no, she didnt say that..I'm just being mean) what did you really see her in? I'll give you a minute to think about it......

Cant come up with too much, can you? She started making a profit off of her child before he was even born. I wont lie, I enjoyed her book "Belly Laughs". I was young, pregnant and scared. Not to mention too lazy to read a book as big as "What to expect.." lol. So I bought it and it was funny and gave me a insight on some things I wouldnt have thought of. Of course, that being said..it was like reading the comics in Sunday's paper..you read them because they are funny, not to get the real news. Dont get me wrong, I dont think she is a bad person. I just think she is irresponsible to be doing what she is doing. She had given people a false belief of what Autism is. Unfortunately because of her "star" status many people believe her. Hell if Oprah had her on, it must be true...right? I would think true reporters would be smart enough to not have only her on there talking about Autism. I remember Oprah having Toni Braxton, Holly Robinson Peete and Jenny McCarthy on her show. Who got the most air time?? You guessed it! Jenny did, which just shows that people believe her crap. I am sick to death of not hearing any other way but the Jenny way. How can you listen to someone that is just not credible, at all. First she goes on and on about how she is an indigo mom and her son is a crystal child..blah blah blah. Now she's dropped that though and its all about being a "warrior mom". I recently read a blog by a very smart woman. No, I dont know her, but I can tell from her blog that she has a good head on her shoulders. :) This is something she said in her blog "A Warrior Mom is a mom who loves their child unconditionally. Who wants them to have all of the advantages of other children. Who beams when they walk in a room." I totally agree with her! Check out her blog here.

I just wish someone, ANYONE would do a show about how its like to really live with Autism. Not some photoshopped version of reality. It is irresponsible to give people a one sided, false hope version of the truth. Autism is not curable. period. I'm not always the brightest crayon in the box and I figured that one out pretty damn quickly. I also this its funny that whatsherface keeps changing her story. One time her son is "cured", then he "recovered"..she doesnt like any vaccines at all, then she thinks they are good but need to be spread out..make up your mind and stick with it already! Now, if he is cured/recovered/fixed/crystal..why do we never see him? Except in photographs, which I am sure took longer than she would like to admit. Why not show video of his progress and how much this wonder treatment can do? I am not saying her kid isnt cute, he is..but his mom is an idiot. Also, if she is removing yeast from his stomach..why is the thing she is using to remove yeast have yeast in it?? Did you know that this pill makes you throw up over and over again(I've heard for like 3 days)..and also give you the poops? Now that would make an adult sick and weak, imagine what it does to a child.

I am just tired of her and her Autism parade...or should I say charade? She is promoting junk. Do people really think Autism is the way she says? Probably..and its sad. Not once have I ever heard he mention how her son is/was. People that read her crap or watch her on tv that are not parents to Autistic children probably dont know what Autism really is. Autism is not celation, shots, vitamins, yeast or "recovery/cure". It is different for everyone. Every family has a different "What Autism is.." story. I know in this house Autism is a lovable, funny, hand flapping, oooh-ing, sensory seeking, texture hating, over stimulated, silly little guy named Gage. Is Gage's journey unique? It sure is..each child with Autism is unique, they may share certain similarities but each one is unique and so is each story. Dont reduce it to one person who is a fame hog, that promotes herself over and over again. Her story is not the only story out there. I wish people would realize that and stop giving her the attention she doesnt deserve.

There..I'm done my ranting. I just dont have the patience or energy tonight to talk about her anymore. Its irritating and upsetting..